My First BLT
Those of you who don't know me very well
will probably respond with REALLY?
Those who know me well will probably respond with:
You are SUCH a good girl!
Look what YOU did,
and there are even survivors to talk about it afterward.
Backstory:
After 3 months of marriage in 1970, Al announced:
" If you continue to cook, we will DIE. I'm taking OVER!"
Al has been cooking ever since.
Today, as he left to run errands, he said casually:
"Why don't you make yourself a BLT for lunch?"
Several things belong in this story:
... Had to make a sign so I would remember
1. I have never opened a package of bacon before.
2. I have never microwaved bacon before.
3. I have never used a squeeze top mayonnaise before.
4. I can't find a knife that I think will work
on bacon and tomatoes and toast.
5. I found the lettuce.
6. I cooked the bacon, terrified the whole time...
so I opened the microwave 5 times in 2 minutes.
7. I couldn't figure out how to open the mayo,
so I took the top off, gently...
well, it flew across the room, slinging mayo everywhere.
8. The kitchen looked like there had been a massacre:
tomato juice and seeds everywhere,
mayo on the cabinets and on the floor,
toast crumbs everywhere,
but the bacon looked good.
9. The toast flew out of the toaster and landed on the stove.
10. I couldn't handle the knife to spread the mayo,
for some reason,
so I used a tomato slice to do the job.
11. I cut the top half of the sandwich
and forgot to do the bottom half.
12. It actually tasted okay!
TA-DA!!!
Those of you who don't know me very well
will probably respond with REALLY?
Those who know me well will probably respond with:
You are SUCH a good girl!
Look what YOU did,
and there are even survivors to talk about it afterward.
Backstory:
After 3 months of marriage in 1970, Al announced:
" If you continue to cook, we will DIE. I'm taking OVER!"
Al has been cooking ever since.
Today, as he left to run errands, he said casually:
"Why don't you make yourself a BLT for lunch?"
Several things belong in this story:
... Had to make a sign so I would remember
1. I have never opened a package of bacon before.
2. I have never microwaved bacon before.
3. I have never used a squeeze top mayonnaise before.
4. I can't find a knife that I think will work
on bacon and tomatoes and toast.
5. I found the lettuce.
6. I cooked the bacon, terrified the whole time...
so I opened the microwave 5 times in 2 minutes.
7. I couldn't figure out how to open the mayo,
so I took the top off, gently...
well, it flew across the room, slinging mayo everywhere.
8. The kitchen looked like there had been a massacre:
tomato juice and seeds everywhere,
mayo on the cabinets and on the floor,
toast crumbs everywhere,
but the bacon looked good.
9. The toast flew out of the toaster and landed on the stove.
10. I couldn't handle the knife to spread the mayo,
for some reason,
so I used a tomato slice to do the job.
11. I cut the top half of the sandwich
and forgot to do the bottom half.
12. It actually tasted okay!
TA-DA!!!