Ephesians 5: 21-33, the Message:
“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.
The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submita to their husbands.
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church— a love marked by giving, not getting.
Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty.
Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.
And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor— since they’re already “one” in marriage. No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it.
That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body.
And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.”
This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church.
And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.”
BarbTalk:
Here is another scripture that causes much conflict in believers and pre-believers alike. The Word submit makes people crazy. Looking up the actual Greek meaning sheds a different light I believe:
The word submit in the Lexical Aids to the New Testament is 5293, Hupotasso, To place in an orderly fashion, and is spoken in the Present Imperative pim, which means to do something in the future which involves a continuous or repeated action.
God is certainly a God of Order. He does not like messes, but continuity. He displays this in nature and in our bodies and in the universe. Everything in God’s universe is meant to work together, and that includes relationships.
When we try our best to have a relationship, so many times we make a royal mess out of things. Being married certainly has its difficulties. How to be a wife my way, and God’s way are polarized. I can continue to fall on my face or I can seek help from the One who invented marriage. (See Genesis 2). He made us to be part of each other in an orderly fashion, and it is the way to look at all of our relationships.
Ephesians 5:21, the Message states it: “Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.”
Courteously Reverent. Hmmm. Not sure how to do that all the time. The word used here in the Greek is 5263 hupodeiknumi, to exhibit under the eyes or to exemplify, and is related closely to 5259 hupo, which is described as an inferior position or condition.
Many times, we are reminded in the New Testament to think of others more highly than ourselves. It seems that God’s way of relationships is to promote others, to give them the advantage. This is what God has done for us, and He asks that we treat others the same way, with welcoming respect and kindness. My small group was talking about this, how it is easy to be nice to strangers, but those in our own home do not see our ‘nice side’ most of the time. Why is it so hard to love and treat our family with respect? Is it because we have held a grudge, or are keeping a record of wrongs?
I love the way the Message states Philippians 2:1-4:
“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if His love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends . Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”
That’s pretty clear. If Christ has given us all we need to live this life, what is our problem? When I ponder that question, I think about the parable Jesus gave which is recorded in Matthew 18, sometimes called the Unmerciful Servant. A question comes to mind: why did the servant who was forgiven so much and given such freedom, treat his fellow servant with downright meanness?
It is hard for some of us to accept the fact that we are forgiven for every little thing we have done that is opposite of God’s way. When we are still in bondage to the things that make us ‘a bad person’, we can get grumpy. We look at others with distain; we have a hard time forgiving them for the slightest infraction. We are angry and unpleasant.
What happens when we believe the truth in the Word of God? What happens when we accept the fact that God receives us as His own because of the punishment Jesus took for us? Quickly, Freedom, Liberty, Joy, and a weightless feeling like none other envelopes us. How can we be grumpy when we have been set free? Just like the unmerciful servant, we just can’t wrap our heads around the facts. We are a forgiven people. All past, present and future ‘sins’ have been dealt with forever at the cross where Jesus gave Himself for us. When we really understand that our debt has been paid, then we are free to be ourselves, and free to love and forgive others.
Without being forgiven, I really believe that it is impossible to have healthy relationships. How can a wife respect her husband if she is carrying a grudge about when he came home late the other day? How can a husband love his wife when he is mad about how much time she spends on the phone? How can children respect and obey their parents, when they are told repeatedly, in words and in deeds, that they just do not measure up? How can an employee respect their employer if they look down on them because they hold up an impossible standard that no one, even himself or herself, can meet? All relationships have to be based in respect and love.
The Word of God tells us that we are to be ministers of reconciliation (See 2 Corinthians 5:11-15). We need to check in with God and His Word whenever we are compelled to do or say something. Ask, what is my motivation? Is my motivation to reconcile or bring peace, or do I just want to tell others what I think? So often, I come to a screeching halt, realizing that respect, love, and kindness have been left out of my opinion.
Ephesians 6 begins with instructions for children and servants (verses 1 – 9, the Message): “Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. “Honor your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, “so you will live well and have a long life.” Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. Servants, respectfully obey your earthly masters but always with an eye to obeying the real master, Christ. Don’t just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ’s servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you’re really serving God. Good work will get you good pay from the Master, regardless of whether you are slave or free. Masters, it’s the same with you. No abuse, please, and no threats. You and your servants are both under the same Master in heaven. He makes no distinction between you and them.”
At this point, the subject turns to spiritual warfare. Whenever we begin to place our lives in the hands of the Lord, and ask for help to do things His way, an enemy is right there to make sure we don’t succeed. That lesson is for another day. May God bring you great peace as your heart enlarges with His forgiveness, love and mercy.
“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.
The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submita to their husbands.
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church— a love marked by giving, not getting.
Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty.
Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.
And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor— since they’re already “one” in marriage. No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it.
That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body.
And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.”
This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church.
And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.”
BarbTalk:
Here is another scripture that causes much conflict in believers and pre-believers alike. The Word submit makes people crazy. Looking up the actual Greek meaning sheds a different light I believe:
The word submit in the Lexical Aids to the New Testament is 5293, Hupotasso, To place in an orderly fashion, and is spoken in the Present Imperative pim, which means to do something in the future which involves a continuous or repeated action.
God is certainly a God of Order. He does not like messes, but continuity. He displays this in nature and in our bodies and in the universe. Everything in God’s universe is meant to work together, and that includes relationships.
When we try our best to have a relationship, so many times we make a royal mess out of things. Being married certainly has its difficulties. How to be a wife my way, and God’s way are polarized. I can continue to fall on my face or I can seek help from the One who invented marriage. (See Genesis 2). He made us to be part of each other in an orderly fashion, and it is the way to look at all of our relationships.
Ephesians 5:21, the Message states it: “Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.”
Courteously Reverent. Hmmm. Not sure how to do that all the time. The word used here in the Greek is 5263 hupodeiknumi, to exhibit under the eyes or to exemplify, and is related closely to 5259 hupo, which is described as an inferior position or condition.
Many times, we are reminded in the New Testament to think of others more highly than ourselves. It seems that God’s way of relationships is to promote others, to give them the advantage. This is what God has done for us, and He asks that we treat others the same way, with welcoming respect and kindness. My small group was talking about this, how it is easy to be nice to strangers, but those in our own home do not see our ‘nice side’ most of the time. Why is it so hard to love and treat our family with respect? Is it because we have held a grudge, or are keeping a record of wrongs?
I love the way the Message states Philippians 2:1-4:
“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if His love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends . Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”
That’s pretty clear. If Christ has given us all we need to live this life, what is our problem? When I ponder that question, I think about the parable Jesus gave which is recorded in Matthew 18, sometimes called the Unmerciful Servant. A question comes to mind: why did the servant who was forgiven so much and given such freedom, treat his fellow servant with downright meanness?
It is hard for some of us to accept the fact that we are forgiven for every little thing we have done that is opposite of God’s way. When we are still in bondage to the things that make us ‘a bad person’, we can get grumpy. We look at others with distain; we have a hard time forgiving them for the slightest infraction. We are angry and unpleasant.
What happens when we believe the truth in the Word of God? What happens when we accept the fact that God receives us as His own because of the punishment Jesus took for us? Quickly, Freedom, Liberty, Joy, and a weightless feeling like none other envelopes us. How can we be grumpy when we have been set free? Just like the unmerciful servant, we just can’t wrap our heads around the facts. We are a forgiven people. All past, present and future ‘sins’ have been dealt with forever at the cross where Jesus gave Himself for us. When we really understand that our debt has been paid, then we are free to be ourselves, and free to love and forgive others.
Without being forgiven, I really believe that it is impossible to have healthy relationships. How can a wife respect her husband if she is carrying a grudge about when he came home late the other day? How can a husband love his wife when he is mad about how much time she spends on the phone? How can children respect and obey their parents, when they are told repeatedly, in words and in deeds, that they just do not measure up? How can an employee respect their employer if they look down on them because they hold up an impossible standard that no one, even himself or herself, can meet? All relationships have to be based in respect and love.
The Word of God tells us that we are to be ministers of reconciliation (See 2 Corinthians 5:11-15). We need to check in with God and His Word whenever we are compelled to do or say something. Ask, what is my motivation? Is my motivation to reconcile or bring peace, or do I just want to tell others what I think? So often, I come to a screeching halt, realizing that respect, love, and kindness have been left out of my opinion.
Ephesians 6 begins with instructions for children and servants (verses 1 – 9, the Message): “Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. “Honor your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, “so you will live well and have a long life.” Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. Servants, respectfully obey your earthly masters but always with an eye to obeying the real master, Christ. Don’t just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ’s servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you’re really serving God. Good work will get you good pay from the Master, regardless of whether you are slave or free. Masters, it’s the same with you. No abuse, please, and no threats. You and your servants are both under the same Master in heaven. He makes no distinction between you and them.”
At this point, the subject turns to spiritual warfare. Whenever we begin to place our lives in the hands of the Lord, and ask for help to do things His way, an enemy is right there to make sure we don’t succeed. That lesson is for another day. May God bring you great peace as your heart enlarges with His forgiveness, love and mercy.
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