Life Application Study Bible Notes on Hebrews 1: 10-12:
"Jesus’ authority is established over all of creation, so we dare not treat any created object or earthly resource as more important than He is. When we spend more time on ourselves than on serving Christ, we treat ourselves (His creation) as being more important than our Creator. When we regard our finances, rather than our faith in Christ, as the basis for security, we give higher status to an earthly resource than we do to God. Rather than trusting in changeable and temporary resources, trust in God, who is eternal." (Tyndale (2012-02-17). Life Application Study Bible NIV (Kindle Locations 181488-181492). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.)
Wednesday I had my first visit with a Marriage Family Child Counselor at Kaiser. This was a delightful woman! I have been driving Al crazy because I have been humming 3 or 4 random notes over and over again for hours. I assumed this could be from 2 things: The MS took part of my hearing and replaced it with a loud hum all the time in my right ear, so maybe I am humming so I don't hear it; or it could be a reaction to all the stress that I have been experiencing. Al suggested that I call my doctor to see if I can talk to someone or get some meds or something before he emancipates his mind.
I have had MS Brain Fog since last Saturday when I locked myself out of my house and car. This turned out to be the perfect time to review my life. The day before I had the appointment at Kaiser, I spent time scrawling down my recent history as well as what I have done for jobs and hobbies.
This woman asked me a very interesting question: "How often do you check in with yourself?"
My mouth agape, as if she was uttering a foreign language, I brilliantly sputtered: "Huh?"
She continued: "Check in with yourself, how often do you do this?"
Me: "I'm sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about."
So here's the story I told her:
"From the time a woman is 12 or so, she feels as if her whole inside is falling out once a month. Our response to this is to be that nothing is going on. We learn to ignore pain, and go play tennis and swim and have a wonderful life in the midst of that pain. We don't want any one to know our status, so we plaster a smile on our faces and go about our day as if we had no care in the world. When a person has a chronic illness, especially those with MS*, they face a choice moment by moment. "Am I going to ignore all this or am I going to let it take over?"
Right there, the problem is revealed. Black or White. Ignore or Suffer. Do or don't do. No middle ground.
She gently told me what checking in with yourself looked like. Check your breathing, check if you are humming, check your pain level, check if you are hungry or not, check if you are tired or wired or how you really are.
I sat astounded for a few moments. Check in? Check in? Check in. I brightened up as the thought penetrated my thick skull, and grabbed my journal to begin to formulate my plan. "Wow!" I told her, "I've never thought of that!" She also mentioned that pain can make your brain not function well. Really? So that's why I have been telling Gloria that, because it is true. And guess what? It's true for me too. I was amazed. It made so much sense. My regular physician casually mentioned one time in a phone call that she thought I had fibromyalgia as well as MS. I didn't ask her about it, but read up on it, and recognized some of what the article had to say. It mentioned that alcohol makes it worse. WHAT?? You mean I can't have 50 glasses of wine a day, only 40? You've GOT to be kidding me.. :)
The therapist also suggested that I set an alarm 3x a day.. My brain went to work, and she saw this. She interjected: "Make it a nice alarm, not an obnoxious one." I had already seen in my mind, my body jolting upward as a repellant "boingy, boingy, boingy" sounded. I have created a lovely little alarm called Twinkle to sound at 9:18 a.m , 1:45 p.m. and 6:30 p.m., the time I am most likely to hum.
This all sounds crazy to me, but it works. The humming has lessened already, and I am fully aware of the constant pain I have. I still don't by MS's story, it will never identify me, but maybe I can manage myself better and pay attention! I tend to be others-centered to the max! I doubt that I will become self-centered. My goal is still to have my life God-centered and to put Him first. I just may take better care of myself. After all, if I don't take care of His creation, who will? Anyone who knows me is shouting: FINALLY!!
I am so grateful. I am the woman formerly known as the hummer. No, not the gigantic car, the irritating little woman who doesn't shut up. I can listen to me, and you and God all at once. Multitasking is harder for me than it used to be, but God and I can handle this one. I am so grateful for the extraordinary support system I have surrounding me. Maybe I won't drive you as crazy either. Wouldn't that be nice?
Al and I will go back to visit this lovely young woman in a few weeks. He needs to tell his side of the story. It is very difficult for him to have a wife who used to not forget anything, could track during a conversation, and who could do just about everything. Now he has a disabled wife in so many ways, and it is hard for him. Maybe she has some tools for him to. I'm praying that she does.
I am blessed beyond measure. Thank you for listening to me with me.
*I read a cook book for Multiple Sclerosis one time that started off by saying, if the patient does not have an A type personality, look for another disease, because invariably, the patient will not be satisfied until they find out everything there is to know about it, and have reached the point where it is a very small part of their life. I figured when I read that: B type personalities probably don't notice something is wrong.
"Jesus’ authority is established over all of creation, so we dare not treat any created object or earthly resource as more important than He is. When we spend more time on ourselves than on serving Christ, we treat ourselves (His creation) as being more important than our Creator. When we regard our finances, rather than our faith in Christ, as the basis for security, we give higher status to an earthly resource than we do to God. Rather than trusting in changeable and temporary resources, trust in God, who is eternal." (Tyndale (2012-02-17). Life Application Study Bible NIV (Kindle Locations 181488-181492). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.)
Wednesday I had my first visit with a Marriage Family Child Counselor at Kaiser. This was a delightful woman! I have been driving Al crazy because I have been humming 3 or 4 random notes over and over again for hours. I assumed this could be from 2 things: The MS took part of my hearing and replaced it with a loud hum all the time in my right ear, so maybe I am humming so I don't hear it; or it could be a reaction to all the stress that I have been experiencing. Al suggested that I call my doctor to see if I can talk to someone or get some meds or something before he emancipates his mind.
I have had MS Brain Fog since last Saturday when I locked myself out of my house and car. This turned out to be the perfect time to review my life. The day before I had the appointment at Kaiser, I spent time scrawling down my recent history as well as what I have done for jobs and hobbies.
This woman asked me a very interesting question: "How often do you check in with yourself?"
My mouth agape, as if she was uttering a foreign language, I brilliantly sputtered: "Huh?"
She continued: "Check in with yourself, how often do you do this?"
Me: "I'm sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about."
So here's the story I told her:
"From the time a woman is 12 or so, she feels as if her whole inside is falling out once a month. Our response to this is to be that nothing is going on. We learn to ignore pain, and go play tennis and swim and have a wonderful life in the midst of that pain. We don't want any one to know our status, so we plaster a smile on our faces and go about our day as if we had no care in the world. When a person has a chronic illness, especially those with MS*, they face a choice moment by moment. "Am I going to ignore all this or am I going to let it take over?"
Right there, the problem is revealed. Black or White. Ignore or Suffer. Do or don't do. No middle ground.
She gently told me what checking in with yourself looked like. Check your breathing, check if you are humming, check your pain level, check if you are hungry or not, check if you are tired or wired or how you really are.
I sat astounded for a few moments. Check in? Check in? Check in. I brightened up as the thought penetrated my thick skull, and grabbed my journal to begin to formulate my plan. "Wow!" I told her, "I've never thought of that!" She also mentioned that pain can make your brain not function well. Really? So that's why I have been telling Gloria that, because it is true. And guess what? It's true for me too. I was amazed. It made so much sense. My regular physician casually mentioned one time in a phone call that she thought I had fibromyalgia as well as MS. I didn't ask her about it, but read up on it, and recognized some of what the article had to say. It mentioned that alcohol makes it worse. WHAT?? You mean I can't have 50 glasses of wine a day, only 40? You've GOT to be kidding me.. :)
The therapist also suggested that I set an alarm 3x a day.. My brain went to work, and she saw this. She interjected: "Make it a nice alarm, not an obnoxious one." I had already seen in my mind, my body jolting upward as a repellant "boingy, boingy, boingy" sounded. I have created a lovely little alarm called Twinkle to sound at 9:18 a.m , 1:45 p.m. and 6:30 p.m., the time I am most likely to hum.
This all sounds crazy to me, but it works. The humming has lessened already, and I am fully aware of the constant pain I have. I still don't by MS's story, it will never identify me, but maybe I can manage myself better and pay attention! I tend to be others-centered to the max! I doubt that I will become self-centered. My goal is still to have my life God-centered and to put Him first. I just may take better care of myself. After all, if I don't take care of His creation, who will? Anyone who knows me is shouting: FINALLY!!
I am so grateful. I am the woman formerly known as the hummer. No, not the gigantic car, the irritating little woman who doesn't shut up. I can listen to me, and you and God all at once. Multitasking is harder for me than it used to be, but God and I can handle this one. I am so grateful for the extraordinary support system I have surrounding me. Maybe I won't drive you as crazy either. Wouldn't that be nice?
Al and I will go back to visit this lovely young woman in a few weeks. He needs to tell his side of the story. It is very difficult for him to have a wife who used to not forget anything, could track during a conversation, and who could do just about everything. Now he has a disabled wife in so many ways, and it is hard for him. Maybe she has some tools for him to. I'm praying that she does.
I am blessed beyond measure. Thank you for listening to me with me.
*I read a cook book for Multiple Sclerosis one time that started off by saying, if the patient does not have an A type personality, look for another disease, because invariably, the patient will not be satisfied until they find out everything there is to know about it, and have reached the point where it is a very small part of their life. I figured when I read that: B type personalities probably don't notice something is wrong.