Ephesians 4:30-32, NIV: “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:30-32, the Message: “Don’t grieve God. Don’t break His heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for Himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”
BarbTalk:
I don’t want to cause anyone grief and I think most of us feel that way. When the Message translation reads: don’t break His heart, I am doubly sure I don’t want to do that!
What can break God’s heart? The NIV translation tells us: bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, malice, uncompassionate actions, and unforgiveness. The Message translation implies ungratefulness, cutting, backbiting, profane talk, insensitive, and mean behavior.
Some days we just wake up mean. A bad night of sleep, an unkind interaction the day before. Maybe we are exhausted or under so much stress that we can’t help but be nasty in the morning. What an awful way to start the day! Earlier in Ephesians 4, we read about not going to bed angry. By working through our anger before “sleeping on it,” we have a better chance to wake up nicer. Verse 32 says to be kind and forgiving. What if we have a ‘right’ to be mad? What if we have a ‘right’ to tell someone off?
So many times in my career, I had every reason to be angry. I remember that before I knew Christ, I was so angry I would pound my fists on the shampoo bowl! I would think of ways to get back at people, and make sure I got my revenge. What a mess I was! I would write letters to people because I was sure that they were the reason my life was not going as I had hoped. I have so many actions and words that I regret.
When I met Christ and understood He paid the penalty for all I had done. I was no longer imprisoned by my feelings of guilt and shame. I could walk freely, know I was loved and cherished. I felt like a new person, with a great weight lifted off me. I called myself a ‘kept woman’, because I became aware that through Christ, I was cared for, forgiven, given a clean slate and a new beginning. What a relief!
I faced so many times when I was upset or angry because of someone’s behavior. Slowly, I became aware that I needed to not harbor feelings or nurse them along, keeping them alive. I would go to God and ask, What shall I do about this? 99.99% of the time, the message that flowed through me was: Love. Love that person, no matter how they act, love. This continues to be a difficult reaction to embrace. So often, when I surrender my ‘right’ to be angry, and work toward forgiveness and compassion, I behold a softening in the person with whom I was upset, which continues to amaze me.
One time when I was driving in the car, this thought went through my mind: You can forgive everyone anything except for those closest to you. I became aware of a huge volcano of unforgiveness and resentment, which was making me sick. Every time someone close to me would do anything, it would pile onto my volcano, which would erupt in anger, malice, and bitterness. I felt helpless to change.
As I continued to learn about forgiveness, this thought went through my mind: When we have unforgiveness toward someone, it is usually involves something they took that cannot be returned to us. Someone robs our innocence, another ruins our reputation, and another rips off our view of ourselves by comments made in jest. When we harbor unforgiveness toward others, we are holding a bill out to them, and say with our being: You owe me! This creates an unnatural tie to the person that we want to get as far from as possible. We want to be relieved of their presence in our lives, and instead, we keep them close. They own our minds, emotions, and bodies. One day I realized that I could write down on a piece of paper the ‘crime’ they had committed, and take a big marker and slash through it, and spell: paid in full! They no longer owed me. They were unable to repay the thing they took from me anyway! I proceeded to do that with all the old stuff that was making me miserable.
As I surrendered my ‘rights’, thoughts and feelings to the Lord, and asked for help to forgive, slowly I was transformed. It was awesome to observe those around me transform also. Unforgiveness is a powerful thing. Even though we don’t say a word, people can feel us judging them. We stand, having passed judgment on someone, and they crumble under our opinions.
I love how the Message translates the last part of the verses we are looking at today: “Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” Quickly can take years sometimes. Thoroughly seems impossible. Only divine intervention will give us quick and thorough forgiveness toward others. Through Him, we can have a fresh start daily; we can stay away from behavior that breaks His heart. Through Him, we are able. On our own, we are unable.
Jesus’ words recorded in John 15:5, the Message: “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with Me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing.” The NIV puts it this way: “I am the Vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.” Nothing. No fruit, no love, no growth. As we stay attached to what nourishes us, we can see others grow and change as well.
Today, let’s not break His heart. When He makes you aware of harbored unforgiveness, take a paper and write down the crime, and then cross it out, writing, paid in full. That is what He has done for us: paid a debt we couldn’t pay.
One of my favorite songs from long ago:
I had a debt I could not pay,
He paid the debt He did not owe,
I needed someone,
To wash my sins away.
And now I sing a brand new song,
“Amazing grace” all day long,
Christ Jesus paid the debt,
That I could never pay.
Ephesians 4:30-32, the Message: “Don’t grieve God. Don’t break His heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for Himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”
BarbTalk:
I don’t want to cause anyone grief and I think most of us feel that way. When the Message translation reads: don’t break His heart, I am doubly sure I don’t want to do that!
What can break God’s heart? The NIV translation tells us: bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, malice, uncompassionate actions, and unforgiveness. The Message translation implies ungratefulness, cutting, backbiting, profane talk, insensitive, and mean behavior.
Some days we just wake up mean. A bad night of sleep, an unkind interaction the day before. Maybe we are exhausted or under so much stress that we can’t help but be nasty in the morning. What an awful way to start the day! Earlier in Ephesians 4, we read about not going to bed angry. By working through our anger before “sleeping on it,” we have a better chance to wake up nicer. Verse 32 says to be kind and forgiving. What if we have a ‘right’ to be mad? What if we have a ‘right’ to tell someone off?
So many times in my career, I had every reason to be angry. I remember that before I knew Christ, I was so angry I would pound my fists on the shampoo bowl! I would think of ways to get back at people, and make sure I got my revenge. What a mess I was! I would write letters to people because I was sure that they were the reason my life was not going as I had hoped. I have so many actions and words that I regret.
When I met Christ and understood He paid the penalty for all I had done. I was no longer imprisoned by my feelings of guilt and shame. I could walk freely, know I was loved and cherished. I felt like a new person, with a great weight lifted off me. I called myself a ‘kept woman’, because I became aware that through Christ, I was cared for, forgiven, given a clean slate and a new beginning. What a relief!
I faced so many times when I was upset or angry because of someone’s behavior. Slowly, I became aware that I needed to not harbor feelings or nurse them along, keeping them alive. I would go to God and ask, What shall I do about this? 99.99% of the time, the message that flowed through me was: Love. Love that person, no matter how they act, love. This continues to be a difficult reaction to embrace. So often, when I surrender my ‘right’ to be angry, and work toward forgiveness and compassion, I behold a softening in the person with whom I was upset, which continues to amaze me.
One time when I was driving in the car, this thought went through my mind: You can forgive everyone anything except for those closest to you. I became aware of a huge volcano of unforgiveness and resentment, which was making me sick. Every time someone close to me would do anything, it would pile onto my volcano, which would erupt in anger, malice, and bitterness. I felt helpless to change.
As I continued to learn about forgiveness, this thought went through my mind: When we have unforgiveness toward someone, it is usually involves something they took that cannot be returned to us. Someone robs our innocence, another ruins our reputation, and another rips off our view of ourselves by comments made in jest. When we harbor unforgiveness toward others, we are holding a bill out to them, and say with our being: You owe me! This creates an unnatural tie to the person that we want to get as far from as possible. We want to be relieved of their presence in our lives, and instead, we keep them close. They own our minds, emotions, and bodies. One day I realized that I could write down on a piece of paper the ‘crime’ they had committed, and take a big marker and slash through it, and spell: paid in full! They no longer owed me. They were unable to repay the thing they took from me anyway! I proceeded to do that with all the old stuff that was making me miserable.
As I surrendered my ‘rights’, thoughts and feelings to the Lord, and asked for help to forgive, slowly I was transformed. It was awesome to observe those around me transform also. Unforgiveness is a powerful thing. Even though we don’t say a word, people can feel us judging them. We stand, having passed judgment on someone, and they crumble under our opinions.
I love how the Message translates the last part of the verses we are looking at today: “Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” Quickly can take years sometimes. Thoroughly seems impossible. Only divine intervention will give us quick and thorough forgiveness toward others. Through Him, we can have a fresh start daily; we can stay away from behavior that breaks His heart. Through Him, we are able. On our own, we are unable.
Jesus’ words recorded in John 15:5, the Message: “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with Me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing.” The NIV puts it this way: “I am the Vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.” Nothing. No fruit, no love, no growth. As we stay attached to what nourishes us, we can see others grow and change as well.
Today, let’s not break His heart. When He makes you aware of harbored unforgiveness, take a paper and write down the crime, and then cross it out, writing, paid in full. That is what He has done for us: paid a debt we couldn’t pay.
One of my favorite songs from long ago:
I had a debt I could not pay,
He paid the debt He did not owe,
I needed someone,
To wash my sins away.
And now I sing a brand new song,
“Amazing grace” all day long,
Christ Jesus paid the debt,
That I could never pay.
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